| WELCOME |
Dear Parent,
You are never alone when you have friends who you can count on.
As a mother, I believe all children should be playful, happy and healthy. As a healthcare administrator, I realize that this is not always the case. And that’s when a person needs friends the most.
Thousands of children have passed through our doors at Women & Children’s Hospital of Buffalo, each one special in their own way. Stone’s Buddies is a living tribute to one extraordinary little boy’s fight for life and the impact he had on us all while he was in this world.
Companionship. Shared experiences. Hope. These are the benefits for chronically ill children and their families when they become a part of the Stone’s Buddies circle of friends – a legacy of healing camaraderie.
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Through this folder’s content, we introduce you to the joy that was Stone and how you and your family can become a part
of Stone’s Buddies.
 Sometimes a friend who has experienced and understands what you are going through is the best kind of medicine. Friends can be inspiring. Buddies often give us courage. Stone’s Buddies gives you an opportunity to experience both.
Cheryl Klass
President, Women & Children’s Hospital
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| STONE'S BUDDIES REGISTRATION |
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If you think parties, trips to exciting events, new friends
and more are things you and your family might enjoy
as members of Stones’ Buddies at Women & Children’s
Hospital of Buffalo, please fill out the following form.
Download Form - PDF 92k
Mail the completed form to:
Stone's Buddies
Women & Children's Hospital
of Buffalo Foundation
1260 Delaware Avenue
Buffalo, NY 14209
Contact Person:
Joanne Koessler-Lana
Director, Stone's Buddies
(716) 878-7272
(716) 643-0209 pager
jlana@kaleidahealth.org
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| STONE’S STORY |
| Every moment of every day is worth living, and being able to
appreciate that fact is the first step toward being alive instead of
being sick. Stone’s life is evidence of that.
At the young age of four, Stone had spent more than half of his
life fighting PNET (primitive neuroectodermal tumor), a highly
aggressive brain tumor that often spreads to the spine. But despite
countless tests, surgeries, medications, stressful chemotherapy, and
unimaginable pain – Stone never stopped smiling.
Stone’s body was sick, but his spirit was so alive that it energized
everyone who was lucky enough to meet him.
From the comfort
of his mother’s arms, Stone often assured his loved ones that he
was “okay” despite the fact that he knew differently. The big heart
beating inside his little chest would let him do nothing less.
Although Stone’s life touched more hearts than most who live 10
times as long as he did, it’s not just the battle he waged for life that
inspired so many.
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 In 2004 he ignored the aches and pains that were
his daily companions to project his small voice over the airwaves during the KISS 98.5 Radiothon to benefit
Women & Children’s Hospital – and forever
changed the lives of those who heard his
story of courage.
Stone’s life ended shortly after he celebrated
his fourth birthday, but his memory
continues to create an impact. Through the essence of what truly
makes Stone so memorable – his
spirit – The Women & Children’s
Hospital of Buffalo Foundation
created Stone’s Buddies Stone’s to
honor his life and remind
children who are fighting
for life with extraordinary
courage that they are
not alone.
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| ABOUT STONE'S BUDDIES |
Facing the daily challenges that often arise after a child is diagnosed
with a serious illness can be very stressful, and despite the fact that
an entire family is affected, sometimes family members feel alone or
confused about what is happening around them. People who feel
informed, supported, and hopeful are more likely to positively
impact the healing process for the family. That’s why we created
Stone’s Buddies.
Stone’s Buddies brings seriously ill young children and teens who are
patients at Women & Children’s Hospital of Buffalo, as well as the
family members who love them, a special program that recognizes
their courage and provides a network of support to help them cope
with their daily lives.
Free of charge, patients and their families are brought together
to celebrate the joys of living so they can draw strength from one
another through Stone’s Buddies’ activities, events, correspondences
and friendship.
It’s one of the many ways we try to ensure that our chronically ill
patients and their families have the tools they need to make what
they are going through just a little bit easier. |
What do Stone’s Buddies receive?
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Stone’s Buddies membership card and backpack,
including:
* T-shirt
* Pillow case
* Stress ball
* Bandanna
* Journal |
* Pen
* Glow in the Dark Bracelet
* One Step at a Time, a unique book, keepsake and guide for coping with your child’s hospitalization |
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Monthly chances to win prizes, be published in the Stone’s Buddies newsletter, and have artwork displayed at Women & Children’s Hospital
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Special offers and discounts to exciting activities
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A chance to talk to others in similar circumstances
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Invitations to special events
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New friends
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Fun! |
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| PENNIES FROM STONE |
| According to Stone’s mom, Stone is forever sending tiny reminders
that he is watching over her by dropping pennies from Heaven
where she can find them.
From the earliest days of his diagnosis
with a brain tumor, Stone’s tiny hand
was often seen wrapped tightly
around a fistful of pennies. He
loved coins and collected them
faithfully every day, depositing
each coin in his piggy bank for the
rainy day he somehow knew would
come in the future.
When Stone left this Earth at
the age of four, Stone’s mom
believes that – somehow – he took his
special treasure with him. Every time she finds a precious penny, she
knows it’s a priceless reminder of the love she shared with
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 Stone and
his assurance that she will never be alone. We hope Stone’s penny
reminds you that you are not alone, either.
Simply show your Stone’s Buddies membership card to your
nurse, doctor, or a child life specialist whenever you feel
scared, alone, or just need a friend, and someone will be
notified that you need help.
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| HELPING YOURSELF COPE |
Knowledge is power
- A large part of coping involves understanding, so educate yourself
about your child's condition. We encourage you to use the Family
Resource Center (located on the first floor) for research purposes.
- Child life specialists are available to help you deal with and
understand your child's needs, as well as help explain the things
that will occur during procedures, tests, etc. Please call 878-7681.
- Ask questions about the medical plan, including admission
expectations, medications, and treatment options.
- Know who is involved with your child's care and how to contact
them with questions or concerns.
- Stay organized by keeping a notebook and a folder containing the
handouts/instructions you receive.
Support is essential
- People want to help, but often don't know how. We have created
a brochure which details specifically how friends and family
members can help you. We encourage you to hand this out or
mail it to those who offer their assistance.
- Handle advice/comments from others appropriately. Not everyone
knows the right thing to say or how to say it, but they do want to
help – not hurt – you.
- Take good care of yourself, so you can take care of your family.
- Join a support group or network with other families facing a
similar situation.
- Refer to the support resources handout in this folder.
- Let us know if you need help.
Hope is energizing
- A positive attitude helps the situation feel less overwhelming.
Focus on the joys and successes of each day (a smile, getting
medicine down, etc.).
- Acknowledge and address your worries and negative feelings, but
try not to dwell on them.
- Understand that others are trying to help and that they care.
- Nurture your sense of humor – laughing and smiling are big stress
relievers.
- If your child’s condition impairs your family’s ability to do things
that you usually enjoy doing together, talk to staff about options.
Maybe we can bring a little of whatever it is you like to do to you
with a little imagination!
- If you find that you are having difficulty coping, pastoral care
services for all denominations are available to help you.
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| HELPING YOUR CHILD COPE |
| Hospitalization can be very stressful for people of all ages, so help
prepare your young child or teenager for what they can expect by
keeping them involved in their care to reduce stress and anxiety. This
will help everyone cope better and make it easier for them to trust
you and the people in the hospital. |
- Use simple explanations to describe what will happen in the
hospital, and always be honest – regardless of age.
- If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t be afraid to say
that you don’t know but that you will try to find out. The child
life staff is available to help explain and answer questions about
procedures, illness and your hospital stay. Call 878-7681.
- Read books with your child, or encourage your child to read books
independently, about his or her illness and hospital stay. There are
books and websites available for kids, teens, and young adults.
- If you know that you are coming to the hospital ahead of time,
have your child help you pack the bag you will bring with a favorite
pillow, blanket, stuffed animal, pajamas, etc. Teenagers can pack
their own bags if they prefer to maintain their privacy.
- CDs, personal clothing items and pictures from home may help the
hospital environment feel more comfortable.
- Give your child choices whenever possible. The power of choice
gives a person a sense of value and control.
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- Start a scrapbook with photographs and words of encouragement
or quotes/jokes of the day from family members and friends. If
your child is very young, encourage them to draw or take pictures.
- Sometimes young people may feel that they have caused their
illness. It’s important to help them understand and reassure them
that they did not do anything to cause their illness. Never assume
that they know this already.
- Prepare your child for the reaction of others. Discussing possible
scenarios about how others may choose to deal with your child’s
situation can avoid painful or embarrassing moments.
- Give your child responsibilities. Encouraging responsibility is one
way to help the chronically ill child lead as normal a life as possible.
- Don’t be afraid to use discipline. All young people need limits, and
discipline provides a sense of structure and security.
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| RESOURCES |
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Caring for kids of all ages at Women & Children’s Hospital of Buffalo
Helpful Information
Specialized Units
Women & Children’s Hospital cares for more seriously ill children of all ages than any other hospital in the region. We understand that young children and teenagers are not just small adults. They have special needs that must be addressed in order for them to make full recoveries, so we have dedicated a series of special units to provide the individualized care that they need, including:
- A medical unit for infants and toddlers that provides activities designed to help young patients feel more comfortable in a hospital setting.
- A unit specializing in the care of all pediatric patients diagnosed with childhood cancers and blood disorders.
- A surgical unit for patients of all ages who require closer monitoring following surgery or injury.
- A medical unit specializing in the care of adolescents and young adults.
- A unit specializing in the long-term care of medically fragile children.
Child Life Specialists
The child life specialists at Women & Children’s Hospital of Buffalo are experienced in addressing the needs of our patients on each specialized unit as they attempt to cope during their hospitalization.
Call 878-7681 to speak to a child life specialist today!
Helpful Websites
Helpful Books
Learning about the things that affect your life can help you feel more comfortable and more in control. Please visit your local library, or visit the Emily Foster Health Sciences Library on the first floor of Women & Children’s Hospital for the information you need.
For Parents
When Your Child Has a Disability: The Complete Sourcebook of Daily and Medical Care, Revised Edition - Batshaw, Mark
What is Cancer Anyway? Explaining Cancer to Children Of All Ages - Carney, Karen L.
Stress and Your Child - Hart, A.D.
Reducing Stress in Children’s Lives (pp. 142-167) in the book Stress and Coping in Children by J. McCracken - Honig, A.S.
Childhood Leukemia – A Guide for Families, Friends, and Caregivers - Keene, Nancy
A Child in Pain: How to Help, What to Do - Kuttner, L.
Emotional Aspects of Childhood Blood Cancers: A Handbook for Parents - The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society
For Kids & Teens
Alex’s Journey: The Story of a Child with a Brain Tumor - American Brain Tumor Association
You and Leukemia – A Day at a Time - Baker, Lynn S.
Franklin Goes to the Hospital (volume 25) - Bourgeois, Paulette and Clark, Brenda (Illustator)
A Day with Dr. Waddle - Center for Basic Cancer Research
Help Yourself: Tips for Teenagers with Cancer - Diane Publishing Company
My Book for Kids with Cansur: A Child’s Autobiography of Hope - Gaes, Jason
Taking Cystic Fibrosis to School - Henry, Cynthia S.
Oncology, Stupology… I want to go Home! - Hershey, Marilyn K.
Young People and Chronic Illness: True Stories, Help and Hope - Huegel, Kelly and Verdick, Elizabeth
The Amazing Hannah: Look at Everything I Can Do!” (children’s book about cancer) - Klett, Amy
How it Feels to Fight for Your Life - Krementz, Jill
CF and Me - Smith, Swan Tumiel
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